If you’re helping your son or daughter learn to drive, there’s a reasonable chance you’ve been driving for considerably longer than they have been alive. You’ve survived motorways, roundabouts, rush-hour traffic, school runs, supermarket car parks and probably several thousand disagreements with your sat-nav.
So surely you’re perfectly qualified to teach them everything you know?
Well… mostly.
Private practice with a parent, relative or friend can be extremely valuable when it complements professional driving lessons. The problem is that after years of driving, most of us develop habits. Some are harmless, some aren’t ideal and some may involve techniques or understanding that have changed since we originally learned to drive.
DVSA advises people supervising learner drivers to consider speaking to the learner’s instructor before starting private practice. One reason is to help prevent old techniques or unwanted driving habits from being passed on.
So parents, this isn’t an attack. Think of it more as a friendly MOT for your driving habits. Understanding how professional lessons are structured can make private practice much more useful.
“But I’ve Been Driving for 25 Years!”
Experience is valuable, and experienced drivers may recognise situations almost instinctively because they have seen them thousands of times before. The difficulty is that experienced drivers sometimes forget just how much information they are processing.
You might approach a busy roundabout, glance across, adjust your speed and enter confidently without consciously thinking through every stage. A learner may not yet have developed that level of judgement.
Telling them, “Go now!” may get the car onto the roundabout, but it doesn’t necessarily teach them how you decided it was safe. Helping a learner is not simply about telling them what decision to make — it is about helping them learn to make that decision themselves.
Don’t Let Observations Become Too Casual
Over time, experienced drivers become familiar with particular roads. You know the junction, you know where traffic usually comes from and you may have driven through the same area hundreds of times.
A learner does not have that experience, and they should not be encouraged to rely on familiarity anyway. Good observation means responding to what is happening today rather than assuming the road will be the same as yesterday.
The DVSA National Standard for driving cars and light vans requires drivers to scan both close to the vehicle and further ahead, use visual clues to predict hazards and respond safely. That is something worth reinforcing during private practice.
Rather than telling a learner, “There’s never anything coming down here,” encourage them to check properly. Because one day there will be.
Avoid Giving Instructions Too Late
Parents often know exactly what they want a learner to do, but the problem can be when they say it. Shouting “TURN LEFT HERE!” when you are virtually alongside the junction is unlikely to help.
A learner needs time to understand the instruction, check mirrors, signal if necessary, adjust speed, select the appropriate gear, observe the junction and make a safe decision.
Give directions early and, whenever possible, allow the learner to do the thinking. If they already know where they are going, you do not necessarily need to narrate every stage of the journey.
Don’t Teach Shortcuts Before the Basics Are Established
Experienced drivers often develop their own way of doing things, and sometimes those methods may be perfectly safe. However, a learner needs reliable processes while they are developing new skills.
If your learner’s instructor has taught them a particular routine for approaching junctions, observations or manoeuvres, suddenly replacing it with, “I don’t bother doing it like that,” can create unnecessary confusion.
The aim is not always one rigid method for every driving task. The important thing is that the learner develops a safe and responsible method they can apply consistently.
If their method is working safely, resist the temptation to rebuild it simply because your own technique is different.
Be Careful With “I’ve Always Done It This Way”
That phrase should probably set off a small warning light.
The Highway Code is updated, road designs change, vehicle technology changes and driving guidance develops over time. DVSA states that people supervising learner drivers need to know and apply the rules in The Highway Code.
If you passed your test many years ago, it may be worth having another look. You might be surprised by something you have forgotten or something that has changed.
Your learner may even know something you don’t. Try not to look too horrified when that happens.
Don’t Turn Every Mistake Into a Lecture
Learners will make mistakes during private practice. If every small error triggers a five-minute lecture, the journey can quickly become stressful for everybody.
Instead, decide whether something genuinely needs discussing. If it does, finding somewhere safe to stop may be better than trying to hold a detailed conversation while the learner is still negotiating traffic.
Questions can often be more useful than a lecture. Asking, “What did you think happened there?” or “What could you do earlier next time?” encourages the learner to think rather than simply wait for the answer.
Don’t Push Them Into Situations They’re Not Ready For
One of the easiest mistakes for a supervising driver to make is assuming that because something feels easy to them, it should feel easy to the learner. Busy town centres, faster roads, complicated roundabouts and difficult parking situations may all become useful practice eventually, but timing matters.
DVSA advises learners and supervising drivers to discuss private practice with the driving instructor. The instructor can help identify what would be useful to practise and whether the learner is ready for particular situations.
There is no prize for making private practice unnecessarily difficult. Confidence usually develops more effectively when the challenge increases alongside the learner’s ability.
Remember: You Are Supervising
There are legal responsibilities involved in supervising a learner. In England, Scotland and Wales, someone supervising a learner driver must generally be at least 21, qualified to drive the type of vehicle being used, have held the relevant full licence for at least three years and not be disqualified from driving.
The learner also needs the correct insurance. The supervising driver must sit in the front passenger seat and is still subject to rules relating to matters such as mobile phone use, alcohol and drugs.
Private practice is still driving on public roads, so it should be treated seriously.
Work With the Instructor, Not Against Them
One of the best things a parent can ask is simply, “What would be useful for us to practise?”
Your learner’s instructor knows what has already been covered, where progress is going well and where additional repetition might help. Private practice can then reinforce professional lessons rather than becoming a completely separate version of learning to drive.
And if your son or daughter tells you, “My instructor says I need to do it this way,” don’t immediately see it as criticism of how you have been driving for the last 30 years.
Nobody’s confiscating your licence. Probably.
Private Practice Can Be Hugely Valuable
Done well, private practice gives learners more experience making decisions, dealing with different situations and developing confidence away from formal lessons. It can also help parents understand how much progress their learner has made.
The aim isn’t to turn Mum or Dad into another driving instructor. It is to provide safe, useful practice that supports the learning already taking place.
At Mark Jordan Driving School, we’re happy for learners to discuss private practice with their instructor so everyone understands what would be most useful to work on between lessons.
We provide driving lessons across Burton upon Trent, Swadlincote, Ashby-de-la-Zouch and Coalville, helping learners develop the skills and confidence needed to become safe, independent drivers.
And parents… maybe have a quick look at the latest Highway Code before your next practice drive.
Just in case.
